I RememberTo Karsyn 2021

 I remember hoping our son would not grow old without children to love him and care for him.

I remember he didn’t fret about it like his momma did.

I remember when the birth control methods were stopped.

I remember the little package with the onesie announcing the coming arrival. 

I remember the pregnancy and the protective daddy-to-be.

I remember a tiny baby girl in the hands of that son I didn’t want to grow old without children.

I remember wearing masks and sanitizing everything in sight, fighting against an invisible viral threat.

I remember wondering if you’d ever get to o see our faces and recognize us! 

I remember you were such a good little baby.

I remember you would just close your eyes and be asleep.

I remember when you woke up, you would just lay there looking around. 

I remember you were such a tiny little thing.

I remember the baby doll I gave you was so much bigger than you were.

I remember you are bigger than the doll now, but still little. 

I remember watching your little personality blossom.

I remember how you giggle now when you are crawling away from me.

I remember how you become so animated and excited at the sight of Elmo.

I remember that you would really like to play with the dog toys.

I remember that of course, everything goes in your mouth.

I remember you love to bathe in the kitchen sink.

I remember you left me a prize there one day! (I won’t document that with a photo!)

I have tried to soak up every single moment of the last year.  Time passes at greater speed with my every birthday. How has our little princess gone from a tiny little infant to a giggling little girl trying to climb into the dishwasher? 

I remember that today, Karsyn Lynn, you are one year old.

I remember also this morning, to thank God for you… your daddy has that child I prayed for.

I ask God to give both your parents wisdom as they train you up in the way you should go. 

Vaccinated

Thanks to media and communication being so available across the globe, we know that all people, in all nations, in every economic class, and every educational level, are all battling against a deadly unseen entity.  Everyone.  

Covid-19.  You can’t see it but we all know it is there.  I wonder if there is even one person on this planet that does not know the threat of the corona virus.  

There is now a vaccine. It is a heated debate on whether the vaccine is effective, whether it has long term negative effects, if it’s a risk for certain people, and even if it’s some diabolical plan to depopulate the planet.  The theories and discussions are endless.  

Just so you know, I have not taken it.  Yet.  

 I don’t have a good track record with medicines and have had some negative experiences I don’t care to repeat. But at the urging of some professionals, I am considering it..  Considering…

I know, without any doubt, that this virus is real and that it is dangerous and deadly. The whole world wants a fix for it. I do too.  I especially want the danger to be over for my family and friends who are on the front lines in healthcare.  

You may have heard me preach and harp on the gods of our culture and how doctors/medicine is one of those gods.  Along with a list of things we esteem, doctors/medicine/surgery are what we look to for answers to illness and disease.  And there is certainly help and healing there! Don’t  misunderstand….I believe in medicine. I am thankful for the science that has brought about healing.  

More importantly, I am thankful that our Creator has given the capacity to learn and understand, and to develop cures for diseases.  Be assured, if cures are not within His purposes for having allowed it, there will be no answer or cure for any virus. 

I’ve used this analogy before.  Here it is again…

Every human that has ever lived, or will ever live, is infected with an imperfection that brings about death.  There is a flaw, an eternal deadly one.

And there is a cure. 

Oh that the humans on this planet would search for that cure as passionately as they want to find something to stop this Corona virus!

Karsyn’s Birth Day, August 13, 2020

 My daddy was sick yet again with the lung disease he battled for many years.  He had a nurse who had relatives from Foreman, where daddy was from.  They discovered that her grandfather had been a co-worker and  her parents were people daddy knew.  When our son Josh came up from the Emergency Department to check on his PawPaw, daddy introduced him to Carissa.  

After their courtship, daddy was able to come to the wedding.  He confided to me that he “didn’t know it was gonna be such a big deal!”  He hadn’t worn his suit, but he fully enjoyed the evening. 

Today we welcomed another of his great-grandchildren. Daddy knew there was a baby coming, and that it would have his name, Thomas, if it was a boy, but he would have been tickled just as much over this tiny little girl, as would my mother have been. 

 We are so happy to welcome Karsyn Lynn to our world. 

Sweet baby girl, this is the day of your birth. I remember many, many prayers said for you and your future siblings.  I longed for our son to have a wife and family, to grow old with children to love.  Your mother and daddy will love you with every fiber of their being. You have lots of family that will be devoted to you as well. 

I remember the night I opened a gift that had supposedly been forgotten at Christmas.  It was a little onesie  with the announcement of your coming printed on the front. 

I remember watching your mother’s tummy swell, anticipating your arrival. 

I remember your daddy would wake in the night to find your mother not in the bed beside him.

I remember that when he looked for her, he would find her sitting in the rocking chair in your room.

I remember that in a few hours, she will be sitting there with you cradled in her arms. (...if she can get you away from your daddy!) 

I remember your other grandmother helping your mother decorate your room with the things she handmade for you. 

I remember, they are beautiful! 

I remember the gender reveal and how your other grandfather was one of the few right about whether we were expecting a boy or girl.

I remember your Pa says girls can shoot guns and go fishing same as boys. 

I remember that he looks forward to enjoying being so nearby. So do I! 

I remember that our Creator God knew you before we did. "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..” (Jeremiah 1:5)

I remember that you are 5 weeks early, perfect and healthy, and loved beyond measure. But as much as we love you, Jesus loves you even more.

Paying debt

As I make payments on debt that is owed by someone I love, I hear:

 “Thank you”

 “I wish you didn’t have to do this for me”

“I will pay you back.” 

“I am so sorry I’m in this kind of needful situation.”

Because of my great love, none of that is necessary.  Appreciated, but not necessary. I don’t want shame, embarrassment, or promises that can’t be kept.  Ever. 

I sit down to write out my thoughts for my own benefit, and maybe for sharing with this debt ridden person at some point.   You see, I have been drowning in debt before.  Just not debt that money can resolve.

I worked and worked.  I exhausted myself mentally over it. I searched for ways to pay it.  

My debt is the same kind every other human has.  We are flawed, racked with sin of all sorts.  We conquer one for a while and end up knee deep in a different one.  

Accepting the financial debt payments is not a flawless perfect example, but it serves to make me look at how I have responded to my sin debt having been paid by someone else.  Since I simply could not fix it, Jesus offered to step in.  Like this debtor I love, I said “I’m sorry for my sin, I will fix it.”  

I followed lists of rules.  I did behavior control.  But I was still neck deep in it, trying to stay afloat and not be consumed with the guilt and condemnation.   I knew full well I was breaking rules left and right.  

After years of such legalistic futility, I gave up.  It was like Jesus said, “well, finally! Will you now just accept what I offer?  Will you let me do for you what you can never accomplish on your own?”

He paid my debt.  

He wants no groveling, He has never shamed. 

He makes no demands, though He has whispered requests and continues to give guidance. My response to what He has given is love.  

Don’t be mistaken.  My behavior and attitudes are still flawed.  Badly.

I purpose that I do not return to where I have been. I slide back in, and I reach for His rescue yet again.  

And again.  

I know this debtor we have assisted will feel many things.   The enemy, the accuser of our souls, will shame.  (He is a liar.  His purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy.)

I pray there are truths from this trial that will forever altar this debtor’s understanding about not just the love of people, but the love of Christ Jesus. 

He has paid far more than these few dollars we have paid. 

Breath

I have been in the delivery room to see a baby take its first breathe.  I have watched a tiny body of flesh transform before my eyes as breathe fills its tiny lungs, eyes strainIng to see in the new light of the outside world.

Breathing.





“Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” (Genesis 2:7 NASB)

In the beginning, God formed a body. It came to life when He breathed into it.

Sin brings death to the life He gave in the beginning. “... from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die." (Genesis 2:17 NASB) 

Life became contaminated with sin.  Death became a reality.  

To remedy that awful truth, new life must be breathed. We simply cannot NOT sin.  “...all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23 NASB)



The very breathe of God made humans different from every other living, breathing creature.   It was so on the day of Creation, and it is so on the day of salvation.

 The body of flesh will die, but the life held within it is eternal life.  That new life is brought about by the Holy Spirit of God.  Again, God Himself must breathe that life.  We cannot will it for ourselves.  We can’t un-do the damage that came about in The Garden.  Without the Holy Spirit of God breathed into us, we suffer an eternal death.


There are times when it is a struggle.  Like a baby, I sometimes gasp for breathe. I strain to see, squint at what is hard to look at.  My faith muscles sometimes grow weak and weary, but they are stronger than the day of my spiritual birth.  

 Praise God, He has provided His very own breathe, life giving, and life sustaining.   My body of flesh is frail and weak.  His power is available and always present, regardless of what my circumstances may be.

”In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise.” (Ephesians 1:13 NASB)

Hallelujah. 

Marathon

I am having coffee on the patio.  That man of mine has this yard manicured.  He is a mowing maniac.   It is beautiful, all the time.

We have a lot of area between our house and our son next door.  Almost every day during the summer, a part of it gets mowed.  By the time he makes it all the way around. It is time to start over.

I heard it from somewhere, “Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” And so it is.

There are times I get so weary of the steady and pressing pace.  It seems that after one obstacle is overcome, two more present themselves. Just like the mowing, there is always more to do.


It is part of the human condition.  We simply can’t keep everything fixed.  We can’t do enough behavior modification, we can’t make up our minds and will it, we can’t legislate it or force it on others.

We can sure gaze out across other people’s lawn and criticize their mowing.

Perhaps their lawn is a mess, but maybe their sock drawer is organized.  Maybe they don’t edge or weed eat, but they control their tongue.  We can be assured, there is something amiss.  In everyone. Visible or not. We are all broken and marred, all imperfect people, all fall short of the perfect and holy standard of our Creator.  You may measure up to my personal standard, but you will not measure up when compared to Him.



“My people are broken—shattered!— and they put on band-aids, Saying, 'It's not so bad. You'll be just fine.'

But things are not fine!

GOD's Message yet again:

"Go stand at the crossroads and look around. Ask for directions to the old road, The tried and true road. Then take it. Discover the right route for your souls....”

Jeremiah 6:14, 16 from The Message





Just like the mowing, humanity continues to present the symptoms of its fallen nature. One issue may be overcome, and three more manifest.

Sin is our problem.   It is at the core of every single issue.  

We can’t modify our own behavior enough.  We can not convince ourselves with logic or simply make up our minds.  Sinful human nature will manifest itself in yet another way.

We can’t legislate enough rules and laws.  (God showed us that by giving ten simple rules to follow), and certainly, we can’t force other people to behave in right ways.   Fear and intimidation might work for a while, but it won’t fix the heart of mankind.

Only Jesus.

”Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. 

Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.

Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30 from The Message)

Father God, help us see the right path and give us courage to put our feet on it....one step at a time, walking steadily forward following You, honestly seeking Your way not ours.

End Of Rope, But Not End Of Hope

People are dying all over the world from an unseen enemy virus.
The earth is quaking.
The winds are blowing away homes and businesses.
There are wars fought openly with guns and bombs.
There are wars fought that are invisible to most of us, in economic manipulations or technological influences and exploitation.  

Nations distrust other nations.
World powers vie for the upper hand, attempting to depose and dominate.

Violations of law are winked at and go unpunished...even accepted.
Moral right and wrong has been mixed into a shade of murky gray, not black and white.

Even God's purpose and design of human beings as male and female image bearers of The Creator has been re-imaged into man's sinful twisted image, genders 're-assigned', same-sex marriages eliminating God's intended design of pro-creation. 


It is a mess.  God help us.

I ask Him the same question His disciples asked.  "...what shall be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the world?" (Matthew 24:3 MKJV)

Is it soon?  Will it be today?  Tomorrow?  Next week, or next year? How long, Lord Jesus? 




Sin began in the garden and has always been a battleground, every single moment since.  We can't say to God, "You didn't give us a chance to redeem ourselves from our wrong, we can do better, we can fix it!!"  

He did.  But we are now born with the flaw that makes it impossible to be the image-bearer we were created to be.  He knew that, it was US that needed to see that horrible truth.  

One thing was forbidden in that garden.  Man disobeyed that one thing.
Ten things were commanded from Mt. Sinai.  Man disobeys every single one, in a myriad of ways.  





"...God made men and women true and upright; we're the ones who've made a mess of things." (Ecclesiastes 7:29 from The Message)

"We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but GOD's purpose prevails." (Proverbs 19:21 from The Message)

After another attempt at understanding the complex issues that have swallowed up my regular routine life, I go back to the one thing I know. 

God is on His Throne.  I am holding firm to that truth.

Man has never been able to fix the messes He makes, he just keeps making more of them.  I come to the end of the rope of my understanding and cling to the hope that is eternally secure. 



What a relief, because I can't earn my way
When I come up empty,  my father pays
I'm learning to live,  and I'm learning to die
And one of these days, I'll be learning to fly
(Lyrics, Child You're Forgiven, Gloria Gaither / Willam J. Gaither / Guy Penrod / Kevin Williams



Hallelujah.